Depersonalization (And Other Dissociative Disorders)

By Brooke Smoke on January 14, 2019

 

As a teen entering college, the last thing I needed was a severe mental health episode. Along with depression and anxiety, one of the strangest side effects of my ill-managed mental health was a strange disorder called Depersonalization Disorder. A strange feeling of detachment, a sensation of floating, and the feeling that family, friends, and day to day life were not real were some of the symptoms I experienced. It was a scary time, but Depersonalization Disorder is not uncommon. In fact, depersonalization disorder is just one of three Dissociative disorders that are listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

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Dissociative disorders are mental disorders that cause those who suffer from them to experience an involuntary escape from reality. It causes a disconnect from thoughts, feelings, and identity, may causing the sufferer to feel numb or empty. They are often accompanied by other mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. Dissociative disorders are often connected to trauma, though not necessarily, and the frequency and variance of symptoms depend on the type of dissociative disorder that person has and the severity of their disorder.

There are three types of dissociative disorders as defined in the DSM. These are Dissociative Amnesia, Depersonalization disorder, and Dissociative identity disorder. Dissociative Amnesia is characterized by a difficulty remembering important information. It can be triggered by trauma or overwhelming stress and is usually sudden in nature, lasting anywhere from minutes and hours to (more rarely) months and years.

Depersonalization disorder involves an ongoing sensation of detachment. Sufferers may feel they are watching themselves in the third person. The experience is often described as very similar to watching a movie or playing a video game. They may also experience derealization, the sense that people and things around them aren’t real.

Dissociative identity disorder is a disorder is characterized by alternating between multiple identities. The sufferer feels that multiple identities are fighting for control in their head. This disorder causes memory loss and fogginess as well.

Its estimated that 2% of people experience dissociative disorders, the diagnosis being more common among women. A quote from NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) states, “Almost half of adults in the United States experience at least one depersonalization/derealization episode in their lives, with only 2% meeting the full criteria for chronic episodes.” However, 7% of the population may have suffered from a dissociative disorder at some time. These disorders are difficult to identify and are very likely to go undiagnosed for years.

The most common among these is depersonalization disorder, according to a study by NCBI (The National Center for Biotechnology Information). The average onset age for is 16, but episodes of depersonalization start in early to mid-childhood as well. It is a disorder especially common in teenage-hood, however, the experiences being most common in youth and steadily declining after the age of 20.

As it is a disorder hard difficult to identify and likely to go undiagnosed, it is one that is often suffered alone. Even in the throes of my worst depersonalization episodes, my family perceived me as being the same me, albeit a bit spacier. I had to come to terms with my tendency towards isolation and reach out for help to begin the healing process. I had no idea what was going on and it was pretty terrifying, but after some research and regular appointments with a counselor, I began to understand what had happened to me. Talking to friends and family about it also helps. Since being more outspoken about my mental health and sharing with others, I’ve come across multiple people my age with the same disorder, both at my college and online.

Luckily, with the proper treatment, the pain and confusion of depersonalization and other dissociative disorders can be eased. People who suffer from these disorders tend to restore their normal perspective over time. People suffering from depersonalization in their teens and early twenties can often see very significant improvement with treatment as they move into adulthood. In my experience living on a college campus, it feels like I am the only one suffering from something like this. However, this is simply not true. Though these disorders can be hidden, they are fairly common and with the right treatment, can be managed.

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